Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Goin' South

Have you seen the commercial for the super duper compilation of "Southern Rock" classics[Goin' South Platinum Collection]? It's great, if you like that sort of thing. 30 of the "biggest Southern Rock classics of all time" or so the ad says.
I watch the ad and the list of songs scrolls up the screen. It looks something like this:
01 Sweet Home Alabama Lynyrd Skynyrd
02 Heard It In A Love Song Marshall Tucker Band
03 Rocky Mountain Way Joe Walsh
04 The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down The Band
05 Wild-Eyed Southern Boys .38 Special
06 Jim Dandy Black Oak Arkansas
07 Fooled Around And Fell In Love Elvin Bishop
08 Bad To The Bone George Thorogood & The Destroyers
09 Long Time Gone Dickey Betts
10 Boom Boom (Out Go The Lights) Pat Travers
11 Coming Home Johnny Van Zant Band
12 Can't You See Marshall Tucker Band
13 Keep On Smilin' Wet Willie
14 Radar Love Golden Earring
15 Walk Away James Gang
16 Free Bird Lynyrd Skynyrd
Wait a minute.... back that up...
14 Radar Love Golden Earring
What the...?!!?! Golden Earring!??!!? They're from the Netherlands, which, last time I checked, WAS NOT a part of the Southern United States. I'd really like to know how the heck they ended up on this compilation.
I don't know if this is just another example of stupid Americans or wishful thinking.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Dallas Stars suck

You will never convince me that getting rid of Ken Hitchcock was a good idea. They fired him because they didn't like his demanding nature and all the pansy arsed players felt like he was too tough.
Well, yet again, the Stars get bounced from the playoffs in the first round. Why? Pretty much cuz they are a bunch of pansy arsed players. I'm sure coach Tippett is very concerned about their feelings and making sure they're happy and have plenty of pretty flowers in their lockers after every game they lose. But that don't win Stanley Cups.
Meanwhile, why was dumbass extrordinaire Tom Hicks watching a meaningless game at Whatever The Feck They Call The Ballpark In Arlington (The Rangers lost to the crummy Mariners, by the way) when his hockey team was playing a Game 7 playoff match in Vancouver? Can he not afford airfare after buying another team that I'm sure he'll run into the ground (Liverpool Football Club)?
*Note to Ron Washington: You seem like a nice guy, but so far, I'm not convinced you were a good choice.

Monday, April 9, 2007


If there is one argument that really hacks me off, it's when I hear somebody use the tired old line about "If you don't vote, you can't complain."
That's garbage and I'll tell you why. There are two key reasons.
First off, if you pay taxes, you damn sure have every right to complain whether you voted or not. If I'm giving my hard earned money to the government (and not of my own free will, I might add), I should definitely be able to gripe about how it's being used. This is a lot like fathers paying child support and not being allowed to have a say in how the children are being raised. Granted, a lot of fathers DON'T have that ability (and others really shouldn't), but that is beside the point. The point is that if your money goes to supporting something, that gives you the ability to complain if you don't like the way the organization is run (unless you sign something that says you can give money, but beyond that, shut the hell up).
Second, more often than not, our "choices" for which we may cast our "important and precious" vote are worthless. I mean both (or sometimes, all three, but rarely more than that) are just walking dung heaps in suits wrapped in a flag looking for a photo op with a noted civil rights activist (preferably a minority) and/or Jesus. Neither candidate is actually smart enough or honorable enough to actually hold the office for which they are campaigning, but that's all we get to choose. So what if you can't stand any of them? Do you vote for the one you despise the least? How is that helping? All you're doing is giving our esteemed 2-party system (remember, that's one party away from true non-democracy.... mmmmmm... mono-partisan! It's not just for fascists anymore!) the green light to continue to put jackasses in office.
Now some of you mind-numbing political zombies are saying, "Well, why don't you just write in somebody?" Well, that's what I do, now, at least on the ballots where that's an option. They don't give you that option in every contest.
(Aside: There is an organization called NOTA. They are a group that would like to put "None of the Above" on all ballots and then if NOTA got the majority, all candidates would essentially be rejected. New candidates would then be selected and it would start all over again until the idiots actually produced candidates that weren't as worthless as a weatherman in Texas.)
When I don't vote, it's not because I'm lazy. Quite the contrary. I don't vote because quite simply, the thought of actually making it appear that I support one of these fools makes my stomach churn. I don't vote because the politicos are too stupid and lazy to present candidates that would actually be good.
Typically, none of the candidates really represents my ideals and philosophies. I don't want abortion banned, I don't want guns banned, lighten up on alcohol, cigarrettes, and marijuana, the death penalty is a good thing, and Jesus' philosophy was more akin to socialism (so leave him out of this). So what, I'm supposed to vote for somebody that has publically stated that they support doing things I don't agree with?
So, if you want me to vote, give me something to vote FOR. Voting for somebody simply to vote against somebody else is a poor reason to continue the cycle.
And don't tell me I can't complain.

Saturday, April 7, 2007


Okay, today's weather was weird, even for Texas. It's April and we had snow flurries.
That's Rickdiculous. Or Ludacris. Whichever exaggeration you prefer.
At any rate, I find it ironic that we can never get snow around Christmas but we can have snow at Easter. I don't know if this is global warming or El Nino or aliens, but I wish they'd knock it the heck off.
In other news, the Fabulous Tom "I don't know crap about running North American sports so now I'm going to run a prestigious English football club into the ground" Hicks has once again given the finger to Rangers fans. He basically told them all that if you want him to spend money on players that don't suck, the fans have to go out and spend money to watch the current sucky players play.
What sort of stupid business model is that? In what other industry can you give the ultimatum that unless you buy the faulty, overpriced, poorly designed product, the manufacturer refuses to put money into R&D to produce a quality product that people might actually want? Mr. Hicks needs to quit reading Dilbert and thinking that it's a How-To guide to successful business decisions.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Happy Birthday, Inky!

So, today was Pete Incaviglia's birthday.
Now I know, most of you are like, "Who?!!?" while a few others are like, "Why do you even care?!!?"
Okay, Pete was a sub-average player over most of career, but I'll tell ya, some of the most fun I ever had out at the old Arlington Stadium was watching Inky run like cow on fire down the first base line. He wasn't graceful and he wasn't fast, but man... he gave it his all. Same thing in left field.
He's best known as one of the greatest college players in history. He also never spent a day in the minor leagues (although maybe he should have). He was a slugger and he struck out... a lot. But I don't care. Next to Nolan Ryan, Pete Incaviglia is my favorite player.
Sure he's got a rep for being a jerk to fans. And yeah, his career was kind of pathetic, especially towards the end. So what that he was recently let go as aminor league hitting coach. He's Inky, and I think he's great.
For one thing, it's nice to like a guy that you can get memorabilia really cheap.
Once, I had a vivid dream that I discovered my living room wall could move. I pushed it aside and discovered that Pete Incaviglia had been living in a secret room behind my living room wall. He seemed annoyed that I'd found him, but he couldn't protest. He was, after all, living for free behind my living room wall.
This, like many other dreams, is not something I can figure out what my subconscious was trying to say. I don't think Freud ever covered dreams about former baseball players who live in secret compartments of one's home.
At any rate, happy birthday, Inky, wherever you are!