tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878780359683226437.post5566180932527174826..comments2023-07-24T10:18:21.444-05:00Comments on Rotten Words of Non-Wisdom: Derailed again...Rotten Arsenalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17121549625443719860noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878780359683226437.post-33351145867240640392008-08-15T15:22:00.000-05:002008-08-15T15:22:00.000-05:00Jeremy,I appreciate the kind words. If "praying fo...Jeremy,<BR/><BR/>I appreciate the kind words. If "praying for me" makes you feel better, then go right ahead. But it's not going to do anything for me at all. I'm not suffering. The suffering is over. If God had not wanted me to suffer, he would not have caused my mother all the suffering she endured over her life.<BR/><BR/>What I don't think people realize is that while I still get sad and I still cry from time to time, it's not from pain. It's just grief. I understand why Mom died... she had cancer. People get cancer... people die. Perhaps it isn't "fair" by human terms, but it's how life works. One day I will die, too. <BR/>I'm sad because my Mom isn't around and I can't talk to her or hug her. There's a piece that I've had all my life that isn't there anymore. But there are pieces of my life that haven't been added yet too. But I'm not hurting and I'm not suffering. Don't mistake the process of adjusting to loss as suffering. <BR/>Time does actually do a wonderful job of healing wounds. You don't have to forget the past or cover it up. It just adds to who you are. Would I choose to remove the sadness from the memories of my Mother's death? No, I wouldn't because that's just one more piece that makes me human and allows me to understand and connect with other humans. <BR/><BR/>I'm sorry your Grandmother's death was so painful for you. It didn't sound peaceful for her or for you in any way shape or form. You shouldn't forget how sad your felt and the pain from the experience. But you need to come to terms with it. Understand why you felt that way, but don't let it overpower you. And mostly, remember the good memories more often than the painful ones.<BR/><BR/>RARotten Arsenalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17121549625443719860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878780359683226437.post-89226468484219282842008-08-14T11:41:00.000-05:002008-08-14T11:41:00.000-05:00I am so sorry that you lost your mom. I can not im...I am so sorry that you lost your mom. I can not imagine what it would be like to loose my own mom. I don't talk to my dad very much since he isn't the best with his kids, and if my mother passed away before him - my brothers and I would all be lost. <BR/><BR/>I know you said you don't need prayers, but would you allow me to pray for you still? I know its a tough situation to go through. God doesn't want you to suffer though, so don't think that. <BR/><BR/>I lost my grandma at 5 years ago. I was closer to her than I was with anyone. From the time I was little, I'd sit on her lap and she would read me a story - til I was about 7. She would always read me something. I loved her more than my own mother - then she began losing her memory. At 7 years old, you don't understand why your grandma can no longer remember who you are. It was hard.<BR/><BR/>She lived with us from then on in our two bedroom house and I shared a room with her and my brother. I helped take care of her 7 years, until she got sick and doctor made us put her in nursing home. <BR/><BR/>She was in there less than a year, and we could tell she got lonely and it wasn't like home. She wuld mumble non-word phrases to me and I acted like I understood - even though deep down my body would ache with pain. <BR/><BR/>I was there the day she died. We were about to leave for home. It was almost 8 pm. She began to turn purple. We called the doctors in and they put her on oxygen. She still was gasping for breathe. I had never seen such a scared look on her face. <BR/><BR/>I was not a Christian at that point, but to me, that proved there was something beyond death. My grandma stared up with the most terrified look on her face as her breathe was being pulled from her. I couldn't bear to watch and wondered how God could do this to me or my mom. My mom laid her head on my grandma's chest, and at that moment - my grandma's heart stopped beating. One tear rolled from her eye... and she was gone. I couldn't speak or feel anything. I was numb. It was literally the worst day of my life. If there was a heaven or hell, I wasn't sure my grandmother made it to heaven. <BR/><BR/>I know how it feels to lose someone so close to you, that you don't want to forget. I have tried because I can't think of her and be happy. It brings me to tears now even now thinking about her. <BR/><BR/>I hope you get through this okay. Time doesn't heal anything, it only covers it up. I can say that God did help me through this two years later. Things happen for reasons in our lives, and we can't change them. What we go through will either make us or break us. <BR/><BR/>I hope you are doing well. <BR/><BR/>Sincerely, <BR/><BR/>JeremyInnovative Defensehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07854444943308333927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878780359683226437.post-33208729126825567162008-07-29T19:16:00.000-05:002008-07-29T19:16:00.000-05:00Hey - I just read this post. I'm so sorry for your...Hey - I just read this post. I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom has lung cancer and it's been hard. You gave a great tribute to your mom in that post.jff0319https://www.blogger.com/profile/08342157429766846867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1878780359683226437.post-34575094858715701712008-07-22T21:38:00.000-05:002008-07-22T21:38:00.000-05:00Sorry to hear about your loss Pope. I lost my dad ...Sorry to hear about your loss Pope. I lost my dad when I was 18, and no matter the age it's never easy.<BR/><BR/>Frank____FarmerAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com